Ojamajo Doremi # Audio Drama: Secret ♥ Story

At long last, a translation of the single really indispensable Ojamajo Doremi audio drama, timed, typeset, and thoroughly edited for your listening pleasure. This one’s really good, folks, and I recommend treating it like a regular episode of Ojamajo Doremi # (except a tiny bit longer and, uh, without animation).

Secret ♥ Story was originally split across 5 tracks on the CD plus opening and closing songs, but for convenience’s sake I’ve put them in a single file with chapters. The chapter locations are slightly different from where the CD tracks split, not that I think anyone cares. I also didn’t bother to include the OP and ED since they’d only bloat the file pointlessly.

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Continuity and TL notes

The Secret ♥ Story audio drama was released in tandem with the Ojamajo Doremi # film and serves as a prequel to the events of the movie. Pop fans, rejoice!

The framing story is set sometime very shortly after episode 20 of #. If you’re watching the series for the first time I think it would be a good idea to listen to this audio drama right after episode 21, before episode 22 repositions #'s narrative slightly.

Since most previous Ojamajo Doremi translations have been the product of international efforts, they’re somewhat prone to awkward English and/or translation errors (off the top of my head, the currently-available releases of episodes 22, 23, and 27 of Dokka～n! each feature at least one really disastrous TL error). I wanted this audio drama to be the first example of “Doremi in natural English for native English speakers.” Thus, although I’ve retained Doremi-Fansubs’ font, terminology, and use of honorifics, please don’t expect my editorial voice to sound quite like theirs.

Aiko’s Story

This flashback takes place the day after episode 34 of the first season, and depicts how Aiko was able to recenter herself after the trauma of that episode. It’s really, really good—touching, compassionate, funny, and affirming.

It was also a ton of fun to invent an entirely unique speech pattern for Aiko. The problem with translating Kansai-ben into English is that every single English dialect has specific associations of class or education, but Japanese dialects are purely regional. Kansai-ben speakers may be “merchants,” but they could be of any educational level or social standing. Thus, instead of attempting to use an existing English dialect, I wrote Aiko’s lines in original “Aikospeak,” a very light accent using dialectal elements from across the English spectrum. The goal is that the audience can always immediately tell when Aiko is using Kansai-ben, but can’t quite connect her speech to any existing English-language stereotype.

Hazuki’s Story

Circumstantial evidence suggests that this flashback is set only a couple of days before the framing narrative:

1. it’s after Hazuki began learning Japanese dance in episode 11 of #,
2. Hazuki heavily references the backstory related in # episode 19, implying that the memory is fresh in her mind,
3. and Hazuki introduces her story by suggesting that the others may remember the afternoon she had to rush off to her violin lesson, surely not an event they would recall for more than a few days.

This story doesn’t tell us much we don’t already know about Hazuki, but it’s great character development for Pop, and serves as the most direct prequel to the film. We get to hear Pop’s very first piano lesson, and we find out why she’s been thinking about the fact that their mother taught Doremi to play the piano, but not her.

Translating Hazuki’s keigo and Baaya’s super-ultra-mega-keigo into English was a total hoot.

Onpu’s Secret

This flashback could take place at any time in the first half of #, but it’s by far the most important and enlightening in the audio drama. I never warmed up to Onpu at all when I watched the show the first time; although I appreciated her work ethic and dedication to challenging herself, I felt she never stopped being a narcissist who saw other people only as approbation machines, or occasionally as additional challenge to be overcome. Then I listened to this story, and she clicked for me—I finally understand the type of loneliness that shaped her into a girl capable of unironically displaying a life-sized standee of herself as her “favorite thing.” (This audio drama also segues surprisingly well into the famously Existential episode 4 of Na・i・sho.) Rewatching the series, I get her now. I’m still not sure I like her, but at least I understand her!

Although there’s no dialect or keigo to deal with in this segment, many gallons of editorial blood were spilt making Onpu’s emotional narrative read comprehensibly in English. For such a blunt person, she’s surprisingly bad at expressing her interior feelings clearly, so I had to work very hard to make her intimations readily discernable in English without interpolating too much editorial gloss. I’d like to think that I struck the right balance in the end.

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One audio drama only!

Although some of the other audio dramas in the Memorial CD Box are extremely fun, none of them are necessary enough to be worth translating. The early-season ones often contain ideas that were cannibalized for main-series episodes in later seasons and thus make little sense in continuity (actually, Hana’s love of Battle Rangers in this drama sort of falls into that category—how did she, Doremi, Majo Rika, and Lala apparently forget all about her infant passion for the show by episode 24 of Dokka～n?), while the later-season ones tend to be heavily fourth-wall-breaking.

The only other character note in any of the audio dramas that might be of interest is the confirmation that Majo Rika did herself raise a magic baby 300 years ago. However, the resulting witch, named Majo Doron (not to be confused with Majo Toron), was discovered by humans, turned into a witch frog, and now lives in the village of magical frogs, where she works as a massage therapist at the “Witch World Hawaiian Center.” Since she appears only in that Dokka～n audio drama, which is an exceptionally silly piece featuring Oyajiide cracking jokes about how Yoshihiko Umakoshi’s caprice has resulted in Aiko’s ever-expanding forehead, I have no idea whether or not Majo Doron is actually canon.

So this is the only Ojamajo Doremi audio drama you’re ever going to get (from me, anyway)—enjoy!