Thanks! A few suggestions on top of the current v2 draft:
“We'll be fine!” → “You good?” (I think the intonation in this line is rising)
“Since you're awake” → consider “Since you're so awake”
“What am I??” is fun in the context of her subsequent lines but seems much less plausible than → “What's this?!” as in “What’s going on?”, “How’d you do that?”; or perhaps “So cool!” which strays from the wording but conveys the emotion
“I never even realized Kirarin Fox's power could do this!” → “Kirarin Fox's power can do {\i1}this?” (it’s not like she’s had a chance to learn its abilities before now)
“Let's play again sometime” works fine but technically sounds like ‘mada’ to me (perhaps you have CCs to check against), in which case → “Let's keep playing” or “Play more with me”
Comments - 3
Migon
Chortos-2
serenae (uploader)